I will warn you that this is a very sporadic. I wrote this after getting home earlier this week. It was written as a train of thought so it bounces around and doesn’t make much sens. I needed to get this on paper, and for some reason I wanted to share. This isn’t depressing, just it helped me get my head on straight with my impending move.
Walking in the rain with no umbrella while listening to soft music is very cathartic. With a blazer over my backpack to keep the contents dry and my glasses off, I let the rain hit my face with out a care in the world. The stress of the week seems to be rinsed away with the light shower. The rain, though cold, bring me comfort and peace with the constant pitter-patter around me. People trying desperately to get out of the rain, yet here I was embracing it.
With my vision blurry and “Something Just Like This” playing in my ears, the world seems to change around me. The path that I walk daily seems new and teeming with colour. Umbrellas and raincoats in a rainbow of colors buzz pass me while I walk in no big rush.
Being prompted by the lyrics “Just something I can turn to Somebody I can miss” in the song, I start to think about my relationships and the people close to me. My plan to move away are suddenly coming nearer and more real. My concerns about my mother and my friends being a 13 hours flight away come to the forefront of my mind. The thirst of travel and to experience something else draws me to moving to Asia, but my mothers advancing age holds me back.
My thoughts drift to my love life, or lack there of. Since my last boyfriend I swore to never be in a relationship again just for the sake of being in a relationship. This has led me to being single for 5 years, but I’ve never been lonely until recently. The closer I get to 30 the more I’m realizing that I would really love to settle down, but I haven’t found the right person. I love my life and love the freedom of moving 1/2 around the world because I want to, but I hope that I can find someone to support me one day.
The rain lets up a little and it pulls me from my thoughts. I notice that I’m close to my car. I slipped my bag from my back and open my car. My reality slips back into place and I focus on the near future. My move off the island is the first step to my longer journey and what will be will be. I just hope the universe doesn’t pull any more tricks on me.
Thank you for reading.